Building AttractionFemale Psychology

Why “Nice Guys” Don’t Get Girls

If She Wants A Weed She Can Go Gardening

I watched a movie last night that made me really upset. I mean, this movie totally put a hitch in my giddyup.

The movie was about a loveable loser who confesses his love for his super-hot friend, and then she suddenly realizes that he’s the sweetest guy in the world and she would be dumb not to fall in love with him in return. So she does just that, and they live happily ever after.

If I ever meet the director of that film, I’ll tell him: “Imma hit you so hard that you’ll die of starvation before you stop sliding!”

This ridiculous “nice guys finish first” theme is all too prevalent in movies these days. It annoys me because it gives otherwise well-meaning men the wrong impression of how love and attraction really work. What results is a society where men think women are cruel because they spur their advances, and women think men are either weak or jerks because they don’t know how to attract them properly.

So with that movie smoldering in the fireplace, here are 3 reasons why the “nice guy” never gets the girl:

The nice guy supplicates.

Supplication means putting women on a pedestal. Nice guys do favors and compliment women with the belief that they’ll eventually “win her over.” But what’s being communicated here? That’s right, low value. When the nice guy supplicates to a woman he’s essentially saying: “I have no balls, I am your servant, and I’ll do anything for you if you have sex with me.” Needless to say, supplication is absolutely repulsive for women.

The nice guy is afraid to lead.

The nice guy gives her the lead. He does this because he thinks satisfying her desires (where to eat, what to do) will get her attracted to him. But women don’t want to be given the reins in a relationship. They want a man who’s confident enough to lead her to where she wants to be led.

Favors are the nice guy’s way of giving value.

The nice guy is big on favors. He’ll do almost anything for the friend he’s in love with, including dropping her off at her boyfriend’s house. He does favors as a way to give value, because he thinks his genuine effort is the only value he can offer. Women see right through this. They know that in truth he’s disrespecting himself in the process, which only insecure people will do, and her attraction for him dies a little more with every favor offered.

It’s too bad that treating a woman well can result in a negative outcome, but is there a way to treat a woman like gold without suffering the consequences of “the typical nice guy?”

Check out “What women really want in a man” to find out.


photo credit: Valeria – Supplication via photopin (license)

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Mark Sing

Mark Sing

Mark Sing is a world-renowned NLP dating coach and the founder of Alpha Symposium. Mark specializes in 1 on 1 coaching where he uses NLP to re-wire the metaprogramming in his client's heads in conjunction with tactical teaching about attracting women. Mark firmly believes that all men deserve sexual choice, and he created Alpha Symposium to share his passion with men who want to take their lives to the next level.