Why Compliments Are Like Landmines with Women
Have you ever seen a guy get rejected so bad that his pants flew off when the concussion hit? I have.
Cue to last night. A few of us from Alpha Symposium were at a local lounge for a little R&R and to observe the Alpha male in his natural habitat.
About two drinks into the night a nice-looking fella, let’s call him Adam, approached an attractive woman and told her she had beautiful eyes. She looked him up and down and without a moment’s hesitation, said: “How many times do you think I’ve heard that? Do you really think that would work with me?” She then turned away and rolled her eyes to the rest of the bar who was observing from sideways glances and smirks of judgment…
At that moment, Adam’s pants launched off him and wrapped around the bartender’s head. I’m joking of course, but it’s a good illustration to show how much women hate unsolicited compliments.
The single most important thing when it comes to attraction is value.
And what is value? Value is the perceived social worth of an individual in a social setting.
A good illustration of this would be if a movie star walked into that same bar last night. He would have had the highest value in the place because everybody knows him and most people want to be in his presence. People would supplicate to him, they’d want his autograph, and they’d compliment him and tell him how great he is. His value is unquestionable, and consequently most girls in that bar would feel some level of attraction for him—no matter how he looks.
On the other side of the coin we have a guy with low value. This guy says the wrong things at the wrong time, has low confidence and brings the group’s social vibe down. People want to get away from him; he’s a follower and tries to use compliments to earn people’s endearment. Now, I want you to imagine that you are a celebrity. How would you act?
Would you throw complements at a woman you hardly know? Of course you wouldn’t. Your value is so high that women need to earn YOUR approval. Guys who are good with women put themselves in the celebrity mindset. They use complements sparingly. If they complement they’ll do it from the frame of upper to lower, kind of like a teacher complimenting his 11 year old student, and they’ll never do it to try to “get somewhere” with a woman.
Despite Adam’s horrible approach let’s give him credit; at least he had the balls to approach a woman he was attracted to. With just a little tweaking to his method he could have walked away with her phone number.
The real lesson here is that you’re the selector and she’s the one submitting the application.